Contents
Of your course.
module 1
Introduction in Coaching
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A Model for Coaching
Sir John Whitmore advocated that coaching was all about developing or raising two things in the coachee, their level of awareness and their level of responsibility.‘If I give you my advice and it fails, you will blame me. I have traded my advice for your responsibility and that is seldom a good deal.’ – Sir John Whitmore. Simple, but not simplistic, the GROW model will be presented in this book as a framework for your coaching practice. It is important, at this stage, to emphasise that the GROW model is one coaching process out of many that are now available for coaches.
Listening to Encourage Thinking
This is so important, we put it at the top of the list. You can’t be a good coach unless you really, really listen. Note, it doesn’t just mean listening to what is being said. It also means listening to what is not being said. This is where you can really help your coachee – by asking insightful questions about what you notice might be going on for them.Asking Powerful Questions
Asking questions is at the heart of great coaching. They are the tools of your trade. This lesson highlights the importance of using questions intentionally. The appropriate use of both open and closed questions will be considered. There is a discussion of particular types of questions appropriate to specific coaching situations.Building Rapport and Trust
This is chronologically the first skill you need to use as a coach as it is the gateway to trust. The coaching process will not work unless you create a good rapport from the beginning, and it should be maintained throughout the coaching relationship. Rapport is what allows coachee's to feel relaxed with their coach and open up – so that personal barriers and fears can be identified. It also allows the coach to ask harder and more challenging questions.Empathising
Empathy can be defined as our ability to 'put ourselves in others’ shoes and appreciate how they are likely to be feeling or thinking in a given situation. What might it feel like to be them? Daniel Goleman, who coined the concept of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ stated that 'empathy is the most important people skill’. He says that empathy is an important communication skill, but it can be easily forgotten because we focus on what should be done in a situation, rather than on how the other person feels.Summarising and Paraphrasing
The advanced listening skills of summarising and paraphrasing/reflecting help you guide your coachee to allow them to make sense of what they are grappling with.Giving and Receiving Feedback
One of the most useful things for your coachee can be you pointing out to them things you are noticing about them, for instance, their behaviour, their reactions to questions, and their facial expressions. As coaching is about increasing self-awareness in the person being coached, the coach needs to know how to give helpful feedback. Providing high-quality, objective information to the person being coached can help to increase understanding of her situation. In addition, the coach needs to be able to positively accept feedback to improve her own practice.The Coaching Context
Where does coaching fit in? What is coaching, and what is it not?
module 2
Intermediate in Coaching
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Beliefs of Coaching
Looking at the beliefs and principles of coaching, there are 2 kinds of beliefs we are referring to. One is the coach’s belief in the coaching process as well as their own skills. Secondly, it is the coach’s belief in their client, and people as a whole!
Ethical Guidelines & Contracting
In the lesson today we will look at ethical guidelines and contracting in coaching. The coaching contract is a recognised way of establishing the professional parameters of the conversation. Some coaches have written contracts that they ask their clients to sign. Others simply discuss the contract verbally with the client at the beginning of the coaching relationship. If you embrace what you have learned so far and choose to become a coach, you will, at times, be faced with ‘ethical dilemmas’ during your coaching conversations. We will start by discussing ‘ethics’ before outlining how we can be prepared for ethical dilemmas. The lesson will conclude by proposing ways of developing and maintaining our coaching practice in a way that is professional and ethical.Beyond Behaviour
There are times when it may be necessary to move beyond simply talking about behaviours during coaching conversations. Mostly people have to change the way they think before they can alter what they do, especially if they are trying to make long-lasting changes. This lesson will assist you as a coach to address topics which may require a change in thinking before a sustainable change in behaviour can be achieved.The Coach's Toolbox
Let’s look at a handyman. I suppose they have a variety of tools. Some for very specific situations, some more for general use and that they use almost on a daily basis. But might also know that a hammer is not the best tool for sensitive, intricate glasswork! Similarly, with your coaching toolbox. You might have some tools that you use purposefully and frequently as it forms part of your way of coaching. If it was a hammer, it might even have taken on the shape of your hand or been personalised. And then you might also have those tools that you know are part of your arsenal. And maybe, you might evaluate a situation and decide that that could be a good tool to use. You might need to find that tool the evening before, dust it off, and just practice to ensure you are still using it correctly. In coaching, that is also ok! The best coaching toolbox that you can have is the one that takes into account who you are as coach and how you coach. It contains tools that you have experienced yourself, and have experimented with it with your clients. It is also tools that are used purposefully.Inspiring Transformation- Tools to Talk
Coaching sessions can be made more engaging by asking the client to complete some conversational, drawing or active tasks. It is useful for the coach to have a toolkit of resources to support these activities. Each of these activities can be adapted to suit the needs of the coach and the client. There is no ‘correct way’ of using these tools or activities and coaches will have to check with clients about the appropriateness of interventions. There is nothing wrong with abandoning an activity if it is not meeting the needs of the client. Coaching is appropriately understood as a conversational intervention. As a result, it is to be expected that many people assume that talking is all that happens within a coaching conversation. In this lesson, we look at the first of 3 ways of inspiring transformation through creativity in coaching sessions: creativity through talking - utilising language and words.Inspiring Transformation - Tools to Draw
In this lesson, we look at the second of three ways of inspiring transformation through creativity in coaching sessions: creativity through drawing or writing. This lesson will propose a number of pen-and-paper activities that can be used during coaching conversations. These drawing activities allow clients to explore their ideas more fully and can sometimes provide a welcome break from the hard thinking and reflection necessary during coaching conversations. Pen-and-paper activities can also generate tangible items to ‘take away’ from sessions. These can act as reminders of the conversation.Inspiring Transformation - Tools to Play
In coaching we do not coach to pathology, but we can look to Dr. Carl Jung’s words as an offering of how to direct our awareness and assist our clients in expanding their inner awareness, accepting and loving all parts of their self as we help them move through their challenges and achieve their goals via the medium of active movement and play. In our lesson today, we focus on the third and final part of the three-lesson series on Inspiring Transformation through Creativity, and here we look at ‘tools to play’.Personality Preferences
An individual’s personality is the combination of traits and patterns that influence their behaviour, thought, motivation, and emotion. It drives individuals to consistently think, feel, and behave in specific ways; in essence, it is what makes each individual unique. Over time, these patterns strongly influence personal expectations, perceptions, values, and attitudes. In this lesson we will strive to understand personality theory, traits and characteristics in order to observe patterns of behaviours and characteristics that can help predict and explain a person's behaviour. This is not only helpful as a coach, where you can adapt and connect to the personality you observe in your client (in order to build rapport), but also as you explain and allow your client to understand their own and other’s personality, that it will cause the client to grow in insight and understanding of themselves and others in a great way.
module 3
Advanced in Coaching
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Self-Awareness - Part 1
This lesson is the first in entering the world of emotional intelligence as a coach: through the door of self-awareness. The key to this door of self-awareness is understanding our thinking patterns and the underlying belief structures (frames of reference) that endorse it. In this module we will look at growing in ‘the art’ of coaching, in other words, growing in your presence as a coach through the robust process of becoming more emotionally intelligent. The reason for doing so, is so that as you as coach grow in maturity of character, so does the presence and space you provide others to also grow in maturity of character. We can take others just as far as we have gone ourselves! May this module allow you the space to go further in growth than you have before, and bring you to a place of maturity of character that will transform your and other’s life!
Self-Awareness- Part 2
Although excessive negative feelings inhibit learning and communication, emotions play a vital role in relationships, conversations and feedback. They convey emphasis and let others know what we value. Emotional experiences stick with people, last longer in their memories, and are easier to recall. And extensive neuroscience research in recent decades makes clear that emotions are essential to our reasoning process: Strong emotions can pull us off course, but in general emotions support better decision making. So, while you’ll want to avoid triggering a threat response, don’t try to remove all emotion from your relating. That can diminish the impact of your presence and lead to a cycle of ineffective behaviour. Instead, aim for a balance: Express just enough emotion to engage the other person but not so much that you provoke a hostile or defensive reaction, shut down the conversation, or damage the relationship. Of course, we may not know how another person will respond to our emotions, and when we’re in the grip of strong feelings, it’s hard to calibrate how we express them in conversation. The solution is to practice. By having more aware/mindful conversations, we learn not only how specific individuals respond to us but also how we express our emotions in helpful and unhelpful ways.Self-Management- Part 1
Mental health is synonymous with maturity, and maturity is born of responsibility. You cannot be mentally or emotionally healthy if you are irresponsible. People with maturity understand a great truth; they understand that life is difficult. In being able to accept this fact about life, mature people learn to handle life in all of its difficulties, not expecting it to be different. They have learned to accept that not everything in life is going to be their way, show up in the way they thought it would and nor will the world change on its axis to make them happier. Mature people know for any change to happen it has to come from within themselves, and this is where success or failure develop. The only way to live a more fulfilling, successful and purpose-driven life is when the choice is made to fully develop and live the attitudes and principles of a matured person.Self-Management- Part 2
What is in the heart and what one speaks becomes truth. Challenge yourself by exploring the success in a situation rather than just coping with the consequences. Provide opportunity where you feel you can master your world. Focus on what you/the person can do rather on what you/they can't. Explore the value of persistent effort. Don’t just give up on a goal just because it seems difficult to do. There is a very good reason for setting the goal – so don’t let up. Understand the journey and process and with every try you/they are one step closer. Learn the importance of facing and overcoming failure. Thomas Edison said: Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration! In order to learn persistence, we must learn to accept failure. Self-motivation is realised by facing your own truths (ownership)…Relationship Management- Part 1
Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose, and what they stand for. These people are very different from those who are known by what they hate, what they don't like, what they stand against, and what they will not do. In the physical world, boundaries are easy to see. Fences, signs, walls, manicured lawns or hedges are all physical boundaries. In their differing appearances, they give the same message: THIS IS WHERE MY PROPERTY BEGINS. The owner of the property is legally responsible for what happens on his or her property. Non-owners are not responsible for the property. Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. If I know where my "yard" begins and ends, I am free to do with it what I like. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. However, if I do not "own" my life, my choices and options become very limited. In addition to showing us what we are responsible for, boundaries help us to define what is not on our property and what we are not responsible for. I am responsible for me, and I am responsible to you (not the other way around…)Relationship Management- Part 2
Conflict is simply the art of skillfully navigating our daily communication through the obstacles of differences in perceptions, opinions, meaning and values! Creative problem-solving strategies are essential if we want to have a positive approach to conflict management. We need to transform the situation from one where it is 'my way or the highway' into one where we are willing to entertain new possibilities that would have been excluded – possibly because we have been defending against the threat! The concepts and tools of Nonviolent Communication are designed to help us think, listen and speak in ways that awaken compassion and generosity within ourselves and between each other. Nonviolent Communication helps us interact in ways that leave each of us feeling more whole and connected. It ensures that our motivations for helping ourselves, and each other, are not from fear, obligation or guilt, but because helping becomes the most fulfilling activity we can imagine.Social Awareness - Part 1
“Manipulations lead to transactions, not loyalty.” - Simon SinekYou can use the SCARF model to work more effectively alongside others by minimizing perceived threats and maximizing the positive feelings generated by reward. It's particularly useful if you need to collaborate with or coach others, or when you need to provide training and feedback.Social Awareness- Part 2
In a world of increasing interconnectedness and rapid change, there is a growing need to improve the way people work together. Understanding the true drivers of human social behaviour is becoming ever more urgent in our environment. Understanding the brain’s core drivers can help individuals and organisations to function more effectively, reducing conflicts that occur so easily amongst people, and increasing the amount of time people spend in the approach state, a concept synonymous with good performance, relationship building and success. As an example of good influence: When you meet someone who makes you feel better about yourself, provides clear expectations, lets you make decisions, trusts you and is fair, you will probably work harder for them as you feel intrinsically rewarded by the relationship itself. Spending time around a person / coach / leader like this activates an approach response and opens up people’s thinking, allowing others to see information they wouldn’t see in an avoid state. Understanding the motivating domains in the brain and finding personalised strategies to effectively use these brain insights, can help people become better leaders, managers, facilitators, coaches, teachers and even parents. In the early 2000s, the philosopher Theodore Zeldin said, ‘When will we make the same breakthroughs in the way we treat each other as we have made in technology?’ These findings about the deeply social nature of the brain, and the deep relevance of the domains of motivation in everyday life, may provide some small steps in the right direction. As you may recall, emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognise not only your emotions but the emotions of those around you while being able to adjust your emotions and influence those of others. In this lesson we will look at the fourth and final area of Emotional Intelligence: social-awareness. We will also look at understanding how the brain functions in order to collaborate with and influence others, in order to grow our knowledge and repertoire as coaches of social-awareness and influence.
module 4
Proficient in Coaching
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Clarify your Purpose
Without a life purpose, you’ll continue feeling stuck, like you’re moving in circles, watching as time continues to pass you by. A life purpose is like a compass, guiding you over life’s path. Keeping you centred, focused and clear on what really matters to you and what you want from life. Without a life purpose as the compass to guide you, your goals and action plans may not ultimately fulfill you. Here's the truth: you already know what your life purpose is. The answer is waiting inside you. You just have to know how to pull it out. We are all born with a deep and meaningful purpose that we have to discover. Your purpose is not something you need to make up; it’s already there. You have to uncover it in order to create the life you want. In this lesson we will seek to clarify your purpose and sense of meaning in life. In order for you to live your life from the inside out, with a meaningful why, a reason to live and get up in the morning to live life to its fullest! In doing so, you will be able to take your client or any individual in your life through the same process, and add this to your repertoire as coach!Clarify your Vision
To find success, you not only have to know where you are now, but you also need to know where you want to end up. You need to be able to imagine what that place—your place of success, that place you want to be in life—feels like, sounds like, smells like, tastes like. You need to clarify your destination so you will be sure to know it when you arrive. Your personal vision is how you commit to living your life. It influences all areas including family, spirituality, physical well-being, leisure, and work. A clear personal vision is an integration of your abilities, interests, personality, values, goals, skills/experience, family of origin, and stage of adult development. That’s huge! If you have a personal vision, you will have a guide for decisions, become meaning-driven and inner-directed, think in the long-term, and maintain balance in your life. Studies consistently show that this one factor, personal vision, is more important in both success and satisfaction than any other factor – more important than intelligence, socio-economic background, or education.Applying practices
Case studies and applying coaching skill and being.Sustaining Practice
You know those coaches who seem balanced, resilient, content, successful? They’re not superhuman. They just have strategies to help them surf the ups and downs of their meaningful but challenging work. Why did you become a coach? Probably because you wanted to help others and it was your passion. It was never really about the money. Yet those same qualities that motivated you and lead you to success as a coach could also prove your downfall if you sacrifice your health and well-being in the service of others. Burnout is one of those topics in coaching that people don't like to talk about. This is a reality that comes with a career as a helping professional. Sometimes life and executive coaches think this can’t happen to them because they aren’t dealing with the mental illnesses, addictions or the kinds of problems a therapist might see, but that’s not true. Like getting hurt in a car accident because you didn't wear a seat belt, we say, "It won't happen to me." I find that so many live with this mentality, and ultimately many come to that point only to be left in bewilderment as to how it happened. Working with any human being brings with it pressure, stress and anxiety as you help them through the challenges of life. The work of helping requires professionals to open their hearts and minds to their clients and patients – unfortunately, this very process of empathy is what makes helpers vulnerable to being profoundly affected and even possibly damaged by their work. Compassion fatigue, also known as second-hand shock and secondary stress reaction, describes a type of stress that results from helping or wanting to help those who are traumatised or under significant emotional duress. But burnout happens to the best in any field. We pursue excellence from all angles, burning the candle from both ends until there's no wick left. But it doesn't have to be this way. In this lesson we will look at ways to assist you as coach to sustain your practice and remain passionate and empathic, without burning out or falling into compassion fatigue!Staying Aligned
Any coaching relationship yields the best outcomes when the client has the supreme trust in the coach and the coaching process. On the part of the coach, it’s extremely important to have an unconditional faith in the client’s intentions and abilities as well as have an open mind to explore and “flow” with the process. This brings to the fore Coaching Presence, one of the ICF Core Competencies. The meaning of the word “presence” is to be available or to exist at a certain place or time. Coaching presence, then, is to be fully present with your client, moment-by-moment. Coaching Presence is at the core of effective coaching. Presence informs everything that we do as coaches – from how we listen, to the questions we ask, to our ability to quickly build trust with our clients. These are relational doing skills that coaches can learn and master as practices. Coaching presence is developed through practice of using relational qualities called being skills.Inspiring Others
Has anyone ever inspired you to change your life in a significant way that made you healthier, happier, or more fulfilled? If so, you understand the difference that positive inspiration can make in a person’s life. Inspiration is powerful, but it isn’t easy. Would you like to return the favour by making a positive difference in the life of your clients, friends, family, or co-workers? In this lesson we focus on how you can grow into being a positive influence capable of inspiring clients or your loved ones to become better versions of themselves!Building your Brand
When you are clear, your clients are clear… The more you can help your clients to visualise, understand and grasp what they are investing in, the more likely they are to buy your coaching. This is why successful coaches don’t just sell blocks of coaching sessions, they sell results packaged into clear coaching products/process derived from their overarching signature brand and coaching process! Once you have about 200 coaching hours under your belt you are definitely ready to design your own signature coaching program and brand. At this stage you have enough coaching experience to start making critical decisions about your coaching future. In this lesson we will look at some ways to build your brand especially online, as well as your signature coaching process and niche!Building Practice and Accreditation
Whether you are planning to have your own coaching business; partner with others; or do business in another creative way; it is important to consider good principles for your coaching business. The bottom line to remember is that a coaching business is just like any other small (or other) business; and therefore what applies to business, will also apply to your coaching practice. It is necessary and wonderful to spend money on your training course; to know that coaching is what you love to do. Now it is simply formulating this into a workable business concept.
